So I hung my head

Yesterday morning was beautiful. I laced up my running shoes and headed out for a 5 mile jog before the sun had come up.  It has been quite awhile since I have run outside, especially at that hour.  The air was cool and the world was quiet.  As I ran, I was reminded just how much I love running outside first thing in the morning (I hate getting up but the reward is always worth it!).  I like to think that it is my "little secret" because it is just me and my thoughts before the chaos of the day and influences of the world seep in to my little utopia.  I know that I have said this before but I will say it again, running is my therapy.  I don't like to run but I do it because it is the one time in the day that is ALL mine. While running I found myself reflecting on my trip to Texas the week before.  I found it hard to believe that I hadn't been back to Texas in over 6 months. Where had the time gone?

My mom and dad had taken Emily back with them after their 4th of July trip here.  She had the gift of spending almost 2 weeks at "Camp Mimi and Grandy."  We had traveled the week earlier to pick her up and so that we could visit with family that we had not seen in what seemed like forever.  The visit was simply, wonderful!  

Enjoying the Texas Rangers ballgame.

Gigi and Mac

Such a special time with Mimi at the princess tea.

We always enjoy spending time with family but for some reason this visit was even more special.  I realized as I reflected back that it was me that was a little different, not really Texas.  I was more at peace, calm and willing to take in everything, the good and the crazy.  I mean, every family is a little wonderful and a little crazy right?!  I loved seeing the kids with their cousins, grandparents and great grandma.  Family is everything. Every day that passes, I am constantly reminded just how important they are.  We don't choose our family, God does and they are forever.  We have good times but also difficult times and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything in the world.  I am pretty lucky.  My family is amazing!  They love me no matter what (in spite of my craziness, moodiness, and the fact that I spend most of my time as one big hot mess).

In the middle of my run, I was stopped by a train (only in Vincennes).  My thoughts moved from my family to today.  I had Tony's family and knew many people from the church, but good girlfriends I had not made.  In fact, I have really only met a few women who I am not related too since moving here.  I realized that if I were to disappear tomorrow, no one in this town would really miss me because they didn't even know that I was here.  Talk about a humbling thought.  I was to many people, invisible.  There is something sad but also something cool and mysterious about it.  I am the new city girl in a town where the majority of the people were born and raised and had known each other all their lives.

As my run came to an end, so did my thoughts.  I was exhausted from the jog and from the emotion that came with it.  All I could do was hang my head and walk home.

I know that I will meet people and I will make friends.  I mean, I have too right?!  Part of me wonders if people will like me and want to make a new friend. I mean there has to be a group of women who:

1.  Love and like God, their children and husbands most of the time
2.  Love to laugh at themselves and don't take themselves too seriously
3.  Who aren't perfect and that is what makes them wonderful
4.  Truly understand and value the importance of girlfriends

Oh, and maybe drink wine or a beer every once in awhile.  I have to believe that there is a place for me here and that I will find my niche.  Patience and time, Leigh.  Patience and time...