"The BIG Departure"

Last pic in front of our Sassy house

I have found myself writing this blog entry about 20 times and can't seem to get past the first line.  So much has happened.  So much to share. What a difference a week makes.  This time last week, I was feverishly working to get our final belongings packed and to say my final goodbyes.  Today, I am sitting on my front porch in a rocking chair enjoying a warm breeze and some really obnoxious birds (I am sure that there will be an entire entry dedicated to the birds, raccoons and other critters in our neighborhood).  I will warn you that this entry will be a bit longer than usual because I have so much to share and catch you up on so bare with me.

This past Friday was what I like to call, "The BIG Departure."  Our moving truck was suppose to arrive at 8 am.  The boys were already at the Farm and Emily was safely on the bus for her last day of school so I was only responsible for myself and our stuff.  Tony was able to be there because of all the rain that we had had and the fields were too wet plant. I found myself pacing back and forth and back and forth for what had to be over an hour (the truck was an hour and a half late).  I know that I had to have been driving Tony CRAZY!.  Finally, the truck turned onto Sassafras.  What happened next was something I was not really prepared for...FEAR, complete and utter fear overcame my entire body.  Fear because this was it.  I couldn't turn back, all of my stuff was going on this truck and we were leaving.  I was doing this, we were doing this, we were moving from a town of over a million people to one that topped out at 20,000.  We were leaving friends, schools, stores, restaurants, our home, entertainment and a life that we had built over many, many years for something I couldn't even begin to prepare myself for.

Thankfully, the fear only lasted a few minutes because Eric, our dear and wonderful friend who was helping us that morning, pointed out that the truck was pretty small and he wasn't sure all of our stuff would fit.  WHAT?!  Fast forward 4 hours later.  Truck was full and there was still a nice amount of our stuff on our front lawn.  If you had driven by, you might think that we were having a yard sale by the eclectic items on our front lawn.  Had the truck been just 3 feet bigger, it would have all made it.  So between the van and the Saturn we had to figure out how to get the rest of our belongings to Vincennes.  Being the responsible, rational, problem-solving woman that I am, I responded the best and only way that I knew how... breaking down in the UGLIEST cry that has EVER come out of my mouth.  Tony reminded me that I was boohooing, crumpled over, just plain down for the count.  6 months of build-up, stress, change, emotion and exhaustion came out in our garage.  There was no consoling me - it just had to flow and boy did it ever.

I was able to pull myself together and somehow my wonderful husband crammed both cars full of the rest of our belongings.  I had hoped to have an organized, smooth move.  I have been told by EVERYONE who has moved that those don't exist.  My 1997 Saturn was crammed so full that I couldn't see out any windows.  Heck, I couldn't even see poor Em in the back seat.  I looked like I was leaving the Delta Gamma house at IU the day after graduation.

What matters is that we made it.  The moving truck was already unpacked when we arrived and my army of family had reported for duty.  Beds were put together and made, boxes moved to the appropriate room.  I have never witnessed a more organized, hardworking group of people in my life.  I couldn't say anything, there were no words, but I did find myself looking around in pure amazement at these wonderful people who were making this house a home for us.  My family swooped in and took over and I was so grateful.

As you can imagine, Memorial Day weekend was spent unpacking which was highly successful.  My amazing sister-in-law and husband took the kids for almost the entire weekend.  Nieces, nephews and brother-laws unpacked boxes and helped us set up the house.  My inlaws loved on us, fed us and kept us laughing.  What a whirlwind!

The guys were able to be in the fields planting for a few days in between rainstorms.  As I am sitting here rocking, I find myself thinking about Memorial Day and Emily and Tony spending the afternoon together in the tractor planting beans all afternoon.  What a moment and memory for them both.  I also chuckle at the proud phone call I took from Tony as he shared that he had taught our daughter "how to pop a squat" in the field.

My life has already begun to slow down.  I very rarely would take a moment for myself like I am now on my front porch.  We haven't rushed once and I have even been abiding by the 30 mph speed limit in Vincennes (Yes, that is the speed limit in the whole town and everyone drives that slow!).

I know that I am in the "honeymoon" stages of the move.  Change, challenges and uncertainty still lie ahead but today I am living the moment.   My next moment will be spent loading up the boys in the stroller, Em on her bike and walking down to Gregg Park for the afternoon.  That is it, that is all, and I am really happy about it.

Live, eat and breathe the weather

So I am learning quickly that the weather websites and radars are a farmer's best friend.  Thank goodness for the internet and the ability to monitor weather every minute of every hour of every day.  "Is it going to rain, how much, when, can we get the fields planted, should we wait, will it be too dry," are all questions that I am hearing from my farm boys.  We are living, eating and breathing weather.  It seems that our future and success of our farm is in the hands of weather.

Tony, Trent and Troy have planted about 300 acres.  For many of us that sounds like quite a lot but when you have to plant 1,000 it sure seems like just a small dent.  So for those of us who are math challenged, that means that they still have about 700 acres to plant and have about a month to do it in.  I know that they will get it done.  Long hours on the tractor, hope that the equipment will hold up, prayers for good weather and many 12-16 hour days ahead are what the coming months hold for us.  Leaving even just a few acres unplanted will cost a farmer thousands and thousands of dollars.

I am just beginning to get a glimpse into this tough world of farming.  Nothing is predictable and the work is hard.  No matter how hard you work, you may fail.  We can't think that way though.  You just keep on, keepin' on and wait to see what happens.

Faith and God.  The two constants that will hold us together.  God is in control and we must give everything to him and lean on our faith to carry us through.

Where to Begin...

North Willow Farm mommies - the best EVER!

If you ask me what has gone on in my life over the last several months, I would find it hard to summarize much less pinpoint any specific detail.  I have been living, eating and breathing moving my family to the "next chapter of our lives."  Getting a house ready to sell, selling a house and now packing up to move has been all consuming.  What I will say is that I have tried, tried so hard to still be a great mom, wife and friend through it all.  I think that all I have accomplished is to exhaust myself and to drink way to much wine.  

One week from today, we will be living in our new house on Burnett Lane.  I can't believe this time has come.  Today, my wonderful friend, Jill, took my boys for 9 hours(Did I mention that she has 4 children of her own).  She is a true gift from God.  I was able to pack up 50% of our house.  For this fried, exhausted, stressed out mom, today was a victory.  I think that what I am most humbled about is all of our friends and family who have gone above and beyond to help us as we make this move.  You all, and you know who you are, who say "it is something small, I wish I could do more, I only brought you a meal or helped you pack a few boxes, etc." it means the world.  Just as an example, our friend Steve has been mowing our yard once a week.  LIFESAVER... Katie, Jenny, Kristy, Liz, Jess, Jennie, Leslie - you are packing machines.  NWF ladies - you make me smile and if I think about leaving this neighborhood even for a split second, I will break into an ugly cry.  Missy, I would have jumped off the cliff had it not been for you. 

Missy, my former neighbor, and now my long distance BFF, soulmate and rock.

My  amazing packing crew, Liz, Jennie and Jess.

I hate goodbyes.  I really do.  I would like to escape in the evening, quietly, and just follow-up with a nice email.  But, that is not possible.  I have lived in this town for 15 years.  So, to quote my Facebook status update, "While thinking about what a life changer our move is, I am finding myself looking back on my other life changers - competitive swimming, leaving Dallas for Bloomington to attend IU, cancer, marriage, children and now farm life. Peaks and valleys but a journey I wouldn't change for anything. While some of those paths I wouldn't have chosen or even predicted would have happened, my life is full and better because of them. Doors are not closing, I am not saying goodbye, it is just "see you later" and "fasten your seatbelts."'

Life is gift, embrace EVERYTHING!