Never Say Never! I am learning to keep that phrase close and it seems as I get older, I am holding it closer and closer to my heart. Life isn't so black and white and God's path for us sometimes takes an unexpected and often unplanned path. I mean, that is how I became a country girl. I have learned, especially over the last year, to try and roll with things. Embrace the change, try not to have life figured and planned out, but deal with the now and hope for a less than crazy future.
I say all this because we have made yet another really big change in our lives. Last weekend, I was at Walmart buying school supplies for Emily. This is the time of year when they are the cheapest, so I have been trained to shop and stock up. What makes this year so different is that I didn't have a class list of items to get. I had no guide or direction, nothing telling me how many boxes of Kleenex, what brand and number of pencils to buy and how many folders to get. You see, this year, I am the teacher and our school is home. Emily will be starting 2nd grade on August 18th at the Hinkle House and her mom, Leigh Hinkle, will be her teacher.
So I started this blog by saying, "never say never." I did that because I never would have imagined that I would be homeschooling my child. I grew up in public school, loved it and the education was good enough for me and my husband. Emily has had a good experience in the two different public schools that she has attended. But, what we are learning, is the schools of our day are very different than the schools of today. These are not OUR public schools. I have spent hours in the classroom with my daughter and her peers so I felt fairly knowledgeable when making the decision of where she should be educated. The school days are long and filled with tests after test. Recess is no more than 15 or 20 minutes, lunch is 15 minutes and the rest of the day is filled with work. Some schools are lucky that they have Specials (art and music). But those are going by the wayside. Everyone is taught the same way and if you are a high or low performer, there are very few resources to assist in your education.
Emily is very bright and I could tell that she was being held back. Her teacher was amazing at trying to provide additional opportunities for her but with 26 students, the resources just aren't there. I tried to be fine with that but my heart and gut told me that we could do so much more for her. I prayed about it, I prayed so hard, and God answered. Has been for over a year. All he simply said, "was bring her home." I ignored him. That wasn't the answer I wanted. I remember thinking and am still battling with this, "I can't home school her. I am not smart enough. I don't have the resources. Home school people are weird. My kid will be weird. What about her friends? Will she ever make friends? What will I do with the two boys? What about my own personal time?" So many, many, many questions, and very few answers to them.
That has been hard for me and for the people around me. I get the above questions all the time and my answer to most of them is simply, "I DON'T KNOW." Not an acceptable answer in today's world, but I truly don't know what will happen. What I do know is that I am willing to try. I am brave enough to take the plunge and be solely responsible for my child's education and to make sure she is staying on track. There is a chance I could fail, but what if...what if we succeed. What if I can inspire and open her eyes to a new world around her. What if I can focus on her gifts, talents and interests and fuel a passion for learning and exploring.
In the spring of next year, we will be moving to the farm and an entire new world will be ours for the daily taking. Why wouldn't I try and give my daughter the opportunity to explore and learn about the world around her?
We moved here for family and for a simpler, more focused life. Homeschool was not suppose to be apart of that but somehow it totally makes sense. We, Tony and I, have chosen to strip down education and build it back up based on what we see as important and necessary for our children to be happy, healthy, positive contributing members of society. I have been nervous, scared and overwhelmed but with Emily getting ready to start just around the corner, a new feeling has come over me. Peace and excitement!
I have no idea what will happen but I do know that it will be unpredictable and an adventure. If it doesn't work, Emily can go back to public school. But, what if, what if, we succeed.
